Can't sleep. Shuffle.
Gotta pee. Groan.
Up and at'm, seven o'clock on my cell, six on the computer, five in the car.
Rise, rise, and rise some more. Eagerness. Get to spend the day hanging around with V again. Shuffle, stumble, shimmy to the computer, sit and gaze, average out the miles, check the clock again. I wonder what time she gets out of class. A bathroom run, a change of clothes, some banana bread. She's online. Skipping class? What a fucking lazy ass.
Shuffle, stumble, shimmy to the car, to the first wind of nicotine. A coughing fit. Holy fuck what the hell is wrong with the air here? I’m supposed to be in a semi-urban area here. I HATE not being able to enjoy my time in a city for longer than a few days. Richmond never hit me like this. That’ll teach me to drive with my windows down through the eastern coast. FUCK. The smoke helps, as strange as that sounds.
We drive on over, V’s not answering her door, I get shown out, call her up, yadda yadda, off to Denny’s! God I love Denny’s. A great breakfast to start off a great day, unfortunately I am not quite able to smite her in public for the ticket, but at least I got the tip. The little victories I suppose. We shuffle off, me in a trendy fucking Stitch shirt, very secure with myself thank ya very much. Now to see the kitty!
Evidently V has a cat. But it’s not her cat. It’s her friends cat. But make no mistake, it’s HER cat. We drive over to the apartment, I get to meet her two friends, one at a time, and witness horrendous, indecent disposal of garbage which was both LOOSE and LIQUID. It’s sad how some people just disregard the laws. V’s kitty is extremely cute, black with high white socks, and extremely sociable. Very pleasant cat. V’s friend had to burn off to work, so we left and went to the Oviedo mall, schmoozed around for a while talking about piercing, how bad I was at finding poetry in Barnes & Nobles, and general topics.
We went to another Barnes & Nobles, since I couldn’t find either of the books at the one in the mall. This one didn’t have the Saint De Whatisface’s book, but it did have the new Robert Parker Spenser book, as well as the Nick Adams stories. Score!
We went back to her apartment for a while and hung around, watching stupid stuff, griping about how they reformed Cookie Monster into some vegan freak, and how Grover was still quite clearly insane. Eventually the TV lost its charm and hunger began to rise up again. California Pizza Kitchen. Now, when one thinks ‘pizza’, one does not normally correlate that with ‘California’. But don’t let the name fool you, very good Italian food, and they carried Guinness, so c’mon now, total win/win situation.
On the way back we skirted difficult topics, tension rising a little bit, and my dignity once again shrinking. We arrived at her apartment shortly after, topics still lingering in the air.
It’s comin around again…
She asked me if I would like to read the paper she had recently done. I said sure, and she quickly produced it from her desk and set it down in front of me. I read through it.
I’ve read this before.
I know these words.
The fallacy of Love.
It hangs there. Unsaid but heard.
The question comes into my head, with almost a half twisted smile, and I know I shouldn’t say it, but I do.
That’s how I roll.
‘So what do you think about love now?’
‘I think you should go.’
…fair enough.
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