Snip Snip
A 10 Minute Play
On why you should shutup
and be nice to people
On why you should grin
and bear it
Tiffany: 24, young, beautiful, successful, wearing a beautiful dress underneath the cloth
Beatrice: 43, mature yet robust, masterful at her art, wears a black top with grey dress pants, along with a grey smock.
[Interior of a salon, Tiffany sits in the chair as Beatrice circles her, carefully poking at Tiffany's hair with her scissors]
Tiffany: So Trevor’s going to propose to me tonight. I can just feel it!
Tiffany: Oh, that’s right, I’m so sorry. You know how my brain gets when I’m like this. Trevor’s taking me to L’Orange tonight, after he finishes up at the office. He said he might be late, having to stay longer to work on a plea or something. And we haven’t been back there since our first date. And he’s been working a lot lately, so I think he’s trying to pay off something. So I’m sure he’s going to ask me to become Mrs. Trevor McGillan.
Tiffany: It’s not. Kinda tangy, but it’s the atmosphere that matters. Getting dressed up, having your hair perfectly placed, walking in with a hottie on your arm, it’s absolutely perfect, velvet ropes and everything.
Tiffany: Besides I know his secretary, I told her to make him keep his eyes on his work. She laughed and said she’d stay on top of him.
Bea: I suppose you’re right. You are quite a catch. A few years younger and I’d try to set you up with my son.
Tiffany: I can’t wait for Trevor and I to have kids.
Bea: Trust me, you want to wait.
Tiffany: I don’t know. We’ve done our travelling, our jobs would more than cover it, houses up
in Northmont are coming up on market…
Bea: Houses? More like palaces.
Tiffany: Oh hush, they’re not that posh. Besides, aren’t you still living in the condo over in Cheshire Falls?
Bea: I am, but Cheshire Falls is a far cry from the golden streets of Northmont.
Tiffany: Hardly. Weren’t they the ones advertising their billion dollar remodeling spree a year or two back?
Bea: [Snippy] Just because the property has the cash doesn’t mean I do.
Tiffany: I wasn’t saying that. It’s a decent place to live. That’s all.
[A moment’s silence]
Tiffany: So how’d Claire’s recital go?
Bea: It went alright. She’s at least stuck with it this far. A few more years and she’ll be
doing it down at Wesleyan.
Tiffany: Really? Why would she want to go there?
Bea: They have an ok program for it, and it’s cheap, so I guess she’s thinking like her mother.
Tiffany: Has she done the tour yet?
Bea: No, she’s waiting until next year. Too wrapped up in her boyfriend to miss a day here.
I hope I was never that bad.
Tiffany: Awww, but young love is so fun. You never had a guy back when you were in school
that you waited every day to see?
Bea: [flatly] No.
Tiffany: Oh come on, Bea. Even I had more than my share. I’m sure you had a long line of
boys fighting over you.
Bea: Didn’t have time for that nonsense.
Tiffany: Well, you’ve got time now.
Bea: I’ve got kids now.
Tiffany: So? You could go all cougar on someone.
Bea: Trust me, I’m not interested in anyone younger.
Tiffany: They don’t have to be young. Just hot.
Bea: Probably not going to happen.
Tiffany: Oh stop being in such a mood. You’ve got lots to work with. I know a few guys from
work your age, Just have to tell me what you’re looking for.
Bea: Someone who’s quiet.
Tiffany: Oh, then that’d be Ramone. Trevor and I met him in Italy our second time over. He’s
quiet, has that mysterious air about him, and the best part, he fills out a pair of jeans.
Bea: Sounds like a real winner. If only I had the time to skip off around the world.
Tiffany: Well take a vacation when the kids are out of school then. And if you go to Italy,
there’s a restaurant in Naples called L’Antica Trianon Sorbillo that has the best
flambé. We go there every time we’re even close. Trevor took me to Marseilles last
summer, and we were sitting out on the beach. All of a sudden he turns to me and says
‘you know what I could really go for? Some flambé.’ Two hours later we were on our
way. Best decision we made that trip.
Bea: Sounds like a bit of a waste though. Did you even get to see France or did you just
make a pit stop?
Tiffany: Oh no, we went back after a few days and did the tourist thing. And we’d both been to
the west before.
Bea: Must be nice.
Tiffany: Trevor’s just way too good to me some days. I can’t wait till tonight. I wonder what
the ring looks like.
Bea: No sense in worrying about that, just as long as you get it.
Tiffany: Well it’s got to match.
Bea: Shouldn’t it match the love more than the shoes?
Tiffany: [laughing] Shoes are part of the love. Trevor’s got this thing-
Bea: Oh. My. God.
Tiffany: Kidding, Bea. But he does have great tastes. Then we’re probably going to Spain. I
saw some charges on the card this morning. This is going to be the best night of my
life.
Bea: Just be careful.
Tiffany: Bea, Trevor loves me.
Bea: I know, but still-
Tiffany: No, ‘but still’ nothing. Look, I’m sorry you couldn’t keep yours, but this one is mine
and I’m not losing him. He’s not an asshole like Charles. Trevor doesn’t fuck his
secretary on his lunch breaks.
Bea: It’s funny how sure you are.
Tiffany: Why are you being such a bitch?
Tiffany: It’s better than listening to you bitch about everything. It’s like this everytime I’m
here. It’s getting old.
Bea: And listening to you yammer on about your fairy tale of a life never makes me feel
like I’ve fallen asleep? I get real tired of hearing the same old story again and again. I
swear, they must’ve skipped the spoon and just given you a loudspeaker.
Tiffany: I’ve just tried getting you up and out.
Bea: Like I need help from you.
Tiffany: Evidently you’re having a lot of luck on your own. As much as you complain about
everything I’d think maybe you’d finally do something about it.
Bea: Some of us have responsibilities. I can’t just go traipsing off around the world. I’ve got
kids.
Tiffany: There’s the old favorite. You can’t hide behind them forever.
Bea: I’m not hiding.
Tiffany: Then what are you going to do when they’re gone?
[A half moment’s pause]
Bea: I-
Tiffany: You love those kids but you don’t do shit for the rest of the world.
Bea: Excu-
Tiffany: I may not shut up, but at least I’m doing something. That’s your problem Bea, is you
just don’t do anything, and you blame the rest of us for it.
Bea: Nothing at all huh?
Tiffany: Nope.
Bea: Just stand here all day, bitch about my life, and make you girls pretty huh?
Tiffany: Pretty much.
Bea: Well…I guess you’re right then. Time to do something. Time for a change.
[ Bea steps in front of Tiffany and blocks the scissors from the audience. The sound of garden shears snipping plays. Tiffany screams and Bea exits. Tiffany rocks forward, clutching her ear as a lock of blood soaked hair falls from her hand.]
No comments:
Post a Comment