WhyshouldIwhyshouldIwhyshouldIshouldIwhy?

So it's been a fuck of a time. Juggling my jobs, my personal life, and my incredible addiction for video games. At least I've managed to not make work my life this time. I've been able to completely seperate that from any of my personal matters. I don't spend 14 hours a day concentrating on work. I've done overtime, I've done worrying, but I've at least learned to let go and relax.

Maybe that's the secret. Maybe that's the problem I've had.

Back to writing unstructured bullshit and skipping off of one subject and landing on the next.

Blame it on the stress.

So I'm not sure if I'm going to get shit canned or not. But today as i was sitting on my OSHA 30 class, I realized, I certainly wouldn't give a good god damn right now. I drive to the lube station at lunch. It's a bright day, a little chilly. Reminiscant of the old days...of even 7 months ago. I feel relaxed. I realize work can be a struggle. That it's not supposed to be easy. That it's fucking work. But I don't think it should always be a constant battle.

I really don't get along with anyone at that fucking office.

At least I have the weekends and the right people to spend those few days with.

I doubt my position with my current company will endure the present strain from upper management. I'm gonna fucking snap and let the whole office know what I think about them.

At least, I will in my mind. I think I'm a little too timid (cowardly) to go that far, but I can feel it building up to the point where I can't in good consciousness continue to put up with this shit.

I am a whiny bastard.

But the girlfriend is working out wonderfully. It's a pain in the ass to not have someone within arms reach to poke fun at me and get my mind off of things, but she does a wonderful job.

I grow old.

Nobody better do shit for my birthday.
Why?

Plans on my birthday will always get messed up, things will not go smoothly, something will happen, and everyone will be stressed out and upset.

Even though I'm not.

Until I get stressed out because everyone else is letting things get to them.

Hell, the 17th is a fucking MONDAY for crying out loud.

Oh well, maybe something more interesting tommorow.

WhyshouldIwhyshouldIwhyshouldIshouldIwhy?