But they are in fact moving forward. Always. It's been a rough day, a bit gut wrenching, a lot of tongue biting. I've been staring at the wall again, tracing the same damn raster as always, head cocked to the side, slumped in my chair, staring a that shit eating grin. Can I truly go against what my mind says? The pure aggrivation at what this summer has held for me? Hate is a hell of a thing to embrace. Experience has taught me that very well, and has rarely led me astray. But how do I just come out and say that?
Five days left. Tick tock, around the clock. Five days of what I can almost see as pure hell. Things slide along smoothly like they're supposed to, something has to screw up. Something will happen. My mind runs along the possibilities. The lies that could be. The situations that might be. The truth that is. Which one is it? Why can't anyone just tell me?
Five days left. Dragging longer than the last.
Five days left. Dragging further into the past.
Who's gonna be the first to fuck this up?
Step right up, take your swing, win a prize, try your luck with the cycle of pain!
I hope it's not you, but who am I to say it won't be? Time to sit back, yet again, and see what kind of crap life's gonna pelt me with, helpless as a man in the stockades, at the mercy of each and every single one of you.
Through the shit I smile. Nothing can touch me...nothing that I would let any of you know about.
BRING IT ALREADY!
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