Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Motherfucker, I'm gone...
((
))
Just shufflin along, heel to toe, as backwards as it could ever be.
Mud rising up on the sides of my shoes, leaving solemn traces of terra and terror along the white barrier of my Cons.
Small feet pitter-pattering their way down the stairs, a dogs and not the other, reminding me just what kind of man I am.
Moments of realization of just what I don't have to offer, and what others do. But I take comfort in being a learning process, a booster, a sacrifice to a god that I'm not completely sure I believe in.
Nothing but rain, rain, rain, what used to be a comforting sign of enjoyment, days laid up in bed listening to the assault of helpless molecules spattered along the windows. Nowadays I just pray for snow, something soft and silent and dampening. Something joyful and enjoyable. Cold days alone are not the greatest, but I suppose one has to take what they can get/give.
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." Now if that isn't a hell of a play on words. I wish I possessed that sort of mind some days.
Violence isn't the answer, it's just the one we like best. It's not bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to Dorothy Parker.
But there's a time and place for self doubt/loathing/hatred/ignorance. But I'm not going to let now be the time. SAD is enough of a pain in the ass as is. I've been replacing all the lights in my house with the daylight mimicking ones. It's been pretty pleasant. I'm feeling a bit better already, but that might just be the alcohol. Either way, it's fucking working.
Come see the Brian Page Experience, take away but never bother repaying. For once, I don't want to be the stepping stone, I want to be the lodestone. Eh, worth and worthwhile, all in due time. Merry Christmas all, pour a little salt.
Have fun with the little game we play. It at least keeps shit interesting.
oooooooh mystery. I want a place in the world that's completely mine for once. Time to cross borders, swords, and hearts.
))
Just shufflin along, heel to toe, as backwards as it could ever be.
Mud rising up on the sides of my shoes, leaving solemn traces of terra and terror along the white barrier of my Cons.
Small feet pitter-pattering their way down the stairs, a dogs and not the other, reminding me just what kind of man I am.
Moments of realization of just what I don't have to offer, and what others do. But I take comfort in being a learning process, a booster, a sacrifice to a god that I'm not completely sure I believe in.
Nothing but rain, rain, rain, what used to be a comforting sign of enjoyment, days laid up in bed listening to the assault of helpless molecules spattered along the windows. Nowadays I just pray for snow, something soft and silent and dampening. Something joyful and enjoyable. Cold days alone are not the greatest, but I suppose one has to take what they can get/give.
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." Now if that isn't a hell of a play on words. I wish I possessed that sort of mind some days.
Violence isn't the answer, it's just the one we like best. It's not bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to Dorothy Parker.
But there's a time and place for self doubt/loathing/hatred/ignorance. But I'm not going to let now be the time. SAD is enough of a pain in the ass as is. I've been replacing all the lights in my house with the daylight mimicking ones. It's been pretty pleasant. I'm feeling a bit better already, but that might just be the alcohol. Either way, it's fucking working.
Come see the Brian Page Experience, take away but never bother repaying. For once, I don't want to be the stepping stone, I want to be the lodestone. Eh, worth and worthwhile, all in due time. Merry Christmas all, pour a little salt.
Have fun with the little game we play. It at least keeps shit interesting.
oooooooh mystery. I want a place in the world that's completely mine for once. Time to cross borders, swords, and hearts.
Monday, December 05, 2011
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder...
((
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuFI5KSPAt4&ob=av3e
))
Every year it does this. It starts cold as can be at the end of November. The windshields are frosted every morning, the warmth from the heater taking its dear sweet time to reach my hands on the steering wheel. The long cold march out the doors after lessons, not quite soaking wet but enough that the wind cuts through my clothes and down to my prickly skin. The promise of a December worth enjoying always comes strong and early. Even snow, no matter how short its life is on the soggy ground is, perks me up and brings hope.
But then the rain comes. It's endless at times. I don't mind the rain. In fact I rather enjoy it, the sound of it tinkling across the window panes of my apartment, or the rushing sound as I kill the engine of my car in a parking lot. The droning hum gives way to the ratta-tat-tat of liquid on the roof. But I'm torn. Love the rain as I do during the spring and summer, it holds no place in my heart during the winter.
Winter's the time for snow, and copious amounts of it. Nothing softens my heart and brings a little pep to my step like and endless blanket of snow, muffling and illuminating all at once. The crunch of it beneath your heel, the way it tumbles out of the seas of gray above, how it sticks to your hair...there's just something in it that feels so uplifting. SAD be damned, it's my cure.
I found myself grinning like a Cheshire cat when it snowed on my way to work last week. Nothing could bring me down. Nothing could shatter what I felt inside my head and heart. I can into this month motivated, like a crack fiend looking to score, now I'm feeling just kinda bleh. A number of things are on my mind which need to be tended to.
A number of things that need dealt with.
But I can't seem to push the sloth off. Maybe I'll do better after a swim, I dunno.
It's just a damn shame. All this rain could be snow.
Then again, all the lame crap in life could be awesome.
I need to find a win-win.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuFI5KSPAt4&ob=av3e
))
Every year it does this. It starts cold as can be at the end of November. The windshields are frosted every morning, the warmth from the heater taking its dear sweet time to reach my hands on the steering wheel. The long cold march out the doors after lessons, not quite soaking wet but enough that the wind cuts through my clothes and down to my prickly skin. The promise of a December worth enjoying always comes strong and early. Even snow, no matter how short its life is on the soggy ground is, perks me up and brings hope.
But then the rain comes. It's endless at times. I don't mind the rain. In fact I rather enjoy it, the sound of it tinkling across the window panes of my apartment, or the rushing sound as I kill the engine of my car in a parking lot. The droning hum gives way to the ratta-tat-tat of liquid on the roof. But I'm torn. Love the rain as I do during the spring and summer, it holds no place in my heart during the winter.
Winter's the time for snow, and copious amounts of it. Nothing softens my heart and brings a little pep to my step like and endless blanket of snow, muffling and illuminating all at once. The crunch of it beneath your heel, the way it tumbles out of the seas of gray above, how it sticks to your hair...there's just something in it that feels so uplifting. SAD be damned, it's my cure.
I found myself grinning like a Cheshire cat when it snowed on my way to work last week. Nothing could bring me down. Nothing could shatter what I felt inside my head and heart. I can into this month motivated, like a crack fiend looking to score, now I'm feeling just kinda bleh. A number of things are on my mind which need to be tended to.
A number of things that need dealt with.
But I can't seem to push the sloth off. Maybe I'll do better after a swim, I dunno.
It's just a damn shame. All this rain could be snow.
Then again, all the lame crap in life could be awesome.
I need to find a win-win.
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